In this article, you will find the answer to one of the most popular questions asked by Oleg Gennadievich.
It often happens that a woman, embarking on the path of self-improvement, wants her husband to become her like-minded person and move with her in the same direction, developing herself as a person. However, in most cases, only one person comes to knowledge in the family. The second may be interested, show indifference, or be categorically against it. In this article, we will analyze the last option.
As a rule, knowing how to live properly comes to a woman because she has a more sensitive nature, she has knowledge in her heart what is good and what is bad. In addition, a woman suffers the most in family relationships. In men, karma is not so pronounced in family life, so it is much easier for him to leave his family and forget about children. A woman can't do that. If she leaves her loved ones, then she suffers all her life, since she has to disentangle the consequences of a decision made once. Therefore, the Vedas say that a woman in a family works out karma, and a man saves it.
When we get any suffering in life, we sincerely try to find an answer to them. We are trying to analyze the situation, why life is unfair to us, why our loved ones do not appreciate us and why others succeed, but somehow not very much for me. So, in search of answers, many of us are faced with lectures by Oleg Gennadievich. What happens when knowledge comes to a woman? Let's say right away that we are not talking about all women, but this situation applies to the majority.
Having learned about how to live correctly, so that you no longer have to suffer in the future, a woman, of course, wants to share this with her loved ones. And who is the closest person to her? Her husband. Therefore, with all the enthusiasm and desire to make his life better, she rushes to him and tells excerpts from the lectures of Oleg Gennadievich. However, since she has not yet applied lectures in practice, she lacks knowledge of how to correctly convey the information received to her husband, and her conversations begin to boil down to what he should.
As a result, it turns out that she imposes ideas on her husband about life, served from a person whom her husband has never seen and whose words a priori cannot be authoritative for him. So, in his heart is formed unwillingness to listen to the «preaching» of his wife about a pious life. He rejects the offer to listen to the lectures himself. If you regularly start such conversations, then an ideological dispute arises in the house. It manifests itself in the fact that the wife is eager to gain knowledge and work on herself, and the husband, at best, tries not to notice this, at worst, forbids.
Some girls write to the editors of our website that their husbands do not allow them to go to the temple or forbid praying at home. However, Oleg Gennadievich says that spiritual practice is one of the most important elements of everyday life. And if a girl sincerely believes Oleg Gennadievich and his knowledge, then she begins to fight with her husband for what will be righteous for their family. What happens in the end? My husband is quickly tired of talking about spirituality, about some unknown holy people whom no one sees in ordinary life. The matter is even more aggravated if the wife stops eating meat. Then a serious conflict is brewing in the family.
Why is this happening? Because the wife chose a new way of life for herself and found a person who is more authority for her than her husband. She allows herself to argue with her husband, but she agrees with Oleg Gennadievich on everything. How can your husband react? After all, one of his main duties is to control what is happening in the family and maintain his position as the eldest in the house. And then the wife gets out of control and constantly protests, plus everything else and accuses him of living incorrectly. Gradually, he understands that danger has come to the house and that it is necessary to immediately end this business. So, he forbids his wife to listen to lectures, and everything connected with them becomes prohibited. familiar situation?
Who is to blame for this? Good question. Because the answer seems obvious at first glance. Of course, husband! After all, I fight in the house for moral foundations, for spiritual life, for purity in relationships, but he does not understand in what ignorance he lives and the whole world around him. If you insist on your own for a very long time, then things can come to the point that the husband becomes an atheist. His skepticism will turn into defensive tactics, and he will begin to insult the holy personalities, thus committing the greatest sin. From lectures on health, we know that insulting the saints in the next life is expressed in epilepsy or other complex diseases that come in early childhood. Therefore, you should not provoke your husband to such actions. What to do?
- It should be understood that basically all men are very hardy. It is very difficult for them to convey knowledge about spirituality, about God. However, God connects people who are suitable for each other to study their shortcomings. Close people are given to us to love and torment us. And in other words, no one suits each other. Everyone fits the same. However, most people believe that it is necessary to find such a person with whom I will not suffer. But this is not the case in this world. You need to understand that your husband is a good, kind person, just principled. It is good for a man to be principled. But the problem is that his principles offend you. After all, if you yourself were not principled, then you would not be offended. And then it turns out that the scythe found on the stone, - notes Oleg Gennadievich.
If the husband cannot appreciate your bright motives and he does not understand your love for God, then you do not have to worry. He will understand everything over time. A man understands everything through love. Knowledge is of such a nature that it is able to come to anyone, but only through love. After all, if we feel love, then we receive knowledge. If we don't feel it, we won't get it. Therefore, your task is to understand that it is impossible to declare anything to a person through violence. Especially for a close person, since our relatives are less willing to listen to our words.
“If you want him to understand something, you need to accept it first because he is a representative of your fate. When you accept it, you no longer need to strain anymore. All your knowledge will go to Him. He doesn't need to explain anything. Just accept it. This is the main mistake in family life. People think they need to explain everything to each other. They explain and explain, but nothing is explained. This is a useless activity. Understand that a person changes only through love, - emphasizes Oleg Gennadievich.
What should be done?
1. accept the seniority of the husband. Most of the problems in family life are that a woman fights with her husband for the palm of the family: takes responsibility, tries to make decisions on her own, wants everything to be according to her plan. However, it is very fast to destroy a family. Do not argue with your husband about your self-development. Give your consent that you will not go to the temple. When the husband calms down, he will most likely allow you to do this. But in this case, he will make a decision himself, and not under your pressure.
2. Understand that a loved one may have a different opinion, and this is normal. No matter how idyll the family may be, the views of the spouses will not always coincide. However, happiness does not mean that spouses think the same way. Happiness means that, despite different views, you respect the opinion of a loved one. You forgive him what he thinks not as you would like. At first, this may seem very simple, but in fact it is very difficult to understand and do.
3. To understand what the situation looks like from the outside, put yourself in your husband's place. If pressure began to come from his side, and he was carried away by some kind of knowledge (even if very good), which would radically change the life of your family, you would most likely also begin to defend yourself. So there is nothing abnormal about his actions. Understand this and thank your husband for the fact that he endures your «interest» for so long.
4. Do only yourself. This is the golden rule that guarantees peace and peace in the house. No need to make attempts to correct loved ones. Understand, it's not in your power. Oleg Gennadievich always says that changing something in yourself is incredibly difficult, what can we say about other people! You can change loved ones only through love and inspiration, through your own example. But trying to change a person by force is a waste of time that can destroy a family.
5. Even if you take care of yourself and leave your loved ones alone, do not have the illusion that they will be inspired by your example and follow you. Just leave this idea and let God decide when and what to do. Understand that everything that happens in your life right now is part of the divine plan that is still incomprehensible to you, but which you can appreciate in a year or two. Then you can understand whether you passed the exam of fate or failed.
6. Leave your personal space behind your loved ones. It is not necessary to oversee the family and evaluate how blissful what they do. Most of us after the lectures fall into goodness, but in passion, and we need everyone around us to live in lectures. In fact, we do not understand what kind of violence we commit against loved ones. To understand this, go back to point 2.
7. The art of harmonious relationships also lies in the fact that close people know that the most important thing is family. If you are engaged in self-development, then do not turn your family into an army. On the contrary, put it in the first place and implement in it the knowledge that you receive from lectures. If you listen to lectures, then make sure that after them you are soft and kind, lovingly cook your husband's favorite dishes (even if they are with meat), you took care of children with pleasure, brought beauty in the house and in your heart. In this case, any husband will allow you to listen to lectures, pray at home and go to the temple.
After all, if close people do not let us do something, it can always serve as a signal to us that maybe I'm doing something wrong. Think about it.
