The most reasonable way to find good family relationships is to do self-improvement before getting to know each other.
1. To create strong, satisfying relationships in a future family, it is important to realize at the moment of acquaintance to realize what feeling towards this person is driving you.
2. Only at the beginning of dating can you refuse to deepen relationships. Gradually, they become so strong that it is impossible to change them, despite the realization of the meaninglessness of what is happening.
3. The most important moment in choosing a future life partner is your own motive of marriage, that is, understanding what you expect from a marriage partner.
4. «Motive» means the desire to love a person in a certain way. What is most attractive to you will be attracted to yourself, and therefore you will have to fall in love with the one who has this kind of «happiness».
5. You need to understand what you have in understanding family happiness, what you want most in family life. This is what determines at the level of which mental center harmony arises. As a result of this, after marriage, a very definite type of harmony will develop, which will be extremely difficult to change throughout life.
6. Progress is possible, but only if the spouses are really interested in self-improvement. Until they start to work seriously on themselves, it is almost impossible to change the established family relationship in any other way.
7. Each of the spouses expects changes not from themselves, but from the other.
8. Most often, at the beginning of family life, young people are practically not able to correct character and self-improvement. And as soon as feelings cool down and thoughts sober up, quarrels begin to literally immediately begin between spouses who have different interests. Therefore, you should try to choose a loved one who would have the beliefs that you would have corresponding.
9. In any case, the relationship can be corrected and made more sublime; the only question is at what cost.
10. It is much more successful to work on yourself even before marriage and begin to meet the requirements that you make for the future life partner. If young people improve their character, then their interests are gradually changing, as well as the very understanding of family happiness. As a result, their life will mainly proceed at the level of higher mental centers.
11. It is natural that with a more sublime communication between a girl and a young man, a more sublime harmony will appear in itself, in itself, in itself.
12. According to the Vedas, there is only one kind of pure love. This is love for God. Pure love for people is also found, but most often among those who have already developed an sublime love for God in themselves. So, pure in his thoughts, the sage, through the eyes of disinterestedness, knowledge and love, sees in all living beings not the body, but the soul. The sage treats trees, animals, and people with equal love. This level of consciousness is achieved only as a result of complete cleansing from sins.
13. If one person lives for another, but does not ask for anything for himself, then such relationships are to a certain extent pure. If the husband and wife developed a disinterested relationship towards each other, then their love will be pure enough and sublime.
14. Having been cleansed of sins, any person becomes capable of pure relationships with both God and his loved ones.
15. People have different levels of consciousness and in accordance with this different types of marital love.
16. There are seven psychic centers in the human subtle body. The Vedas say that the lower centers are in contact with the low, animal consciousness, where brute bodily power is acting. Love (harmony) that arose at the level of these lower centers takes on the corresponding rough form.
17. The formation of relationships between a man and a woman is the result of compatibility at different levels of their consciousness. With a more sublime consciousness of loving people, higher mental centers also enter into harmony, respectively.
18. The lower the centers on which harmony arises, the more in love, spiritual in nature, all sorts of egoistic inclinations are traced.
19. The most reasonable way to gain good family relationships is to engage in self-improvement (spiritual practice) even before you meet.
20. Love arises on its own, but few of the young people, making their choice, use common sense. Meanwhile, how sublime the love between a man and a woman will be determined by the type of mental harmony that they will acquire.
21. Harmony between people is always determined by the sphere of their interests. Thus, having developed more sublime interests in themselves, young people thereby gain the opportunity to create a happier family.
22. The scale of family happiness ultimately depends on how sublime interests spouses have. Therefore, to create a happier family, the Vedas recommend a person to pay maximum attention to getting married before getting married to fostering good character traits.
23. Finding an elevated goal in life naturally changes the character of a person. The most sublime goal is love for God. Therefore, in an effort to love God, a person acquires a quick opportunity to love his neighbors.
Oleg Torsunov from the book «Vedas on the Creation of a Family».
