If we understand that a loved one is given to us not for pleasure, but to work out our bad deeds in the past, then everything falls into place.
We have collected several answers to questions on family relations asked during the lectures of Oleg Gennadievich. They all concern the problem, staying with or leaving him, and also returning to him or not, if you have already left.
Most of us know Oleg Gennadievich's recommendations regarding the crisis in relations. As a rule, he advises to save the family. Learn to love, forgive and accept a loved one. At the same time, he also teaches to set conditions in family life, be serious and educate a loved one, and also keep a respect for the distance of respect so as not to cross unauthorized boundaries (that which subsequently there is humiliation and suppression of one of the spouses. )
Consider five situations where it is difficult to figure out how to do it right. Perhaps you will recognize yourself in one of these situations, or perhaps, the answers of Oleg Gennadievich once again strengthen your ideas about family life.
Situation 1. She left her first husband because she fell in love with another. She married him, a few years later, difficulties began in the relationship. Now I regret that I left my first husband, but I can’t live with the second either.
You won't find such a husband. The first marriage was given to you as a gift. And then you will already learn life, the gifts will be completed. Either you will have to be left alone, or you will learn to work on relationships. The second husband is waiting for you, but he is already on the verge. You only have a month to save your family. God gives man. If you do not accept his gifts, then loneliness awaits you. There are no other options.
Why do you want something more? That's what God gave, that's what it is. Let's say you got a rude person, but he can become soft if you educate him. After all, if you want something better, then you can not get it at all. Understand, people are not always able to restrain themselves. You don't have to consider them your enemies for this. We must learn to forgive and move on. You punished him, he became softer. Men change when they are punished. Therefore, we must go back.
Situation 2. There was a difficult relationship with my husband, I could not stand it and left.
It happens that a loved one behaves badly, then it is necessary to set conditions. Write a list of your conditions and follow them. It happens that you have to leave several times so that a person understands something. If he does something wrong, then he does not need to explain a lot, threaten, tear himself up. You just have to take it once and leave. But do not do this often, otherwise he may also form the opinion that you will not get away.
You must be strict. Strictness is a kind of love. It will be hard for you, hard work ahead of you. When you don't have the strength, you can live separately. But there is no way out. God wants you to help him. If you help him, you will receive mercy from God. You can only help with strictness. But you need to work on yourself, develop as individuals.
Situation 3. The husband left the family, took the child and does not want to communicate with me. What to do?
You have an influential husband, you did not give him due respect and attention, you behaved wrongly with him, and now he uses his influence to organize his life without you.
You see, the problem is human development. You developed a relationship with him incorrectly, there were difficulties, you were offended by him, and now you are reaping the fruits of your behavior. And the fruits are so serious that your child will become closer to you only after three years.
If you forgive this person, then he will take care of you all his life. If you learn to treat men correctly, then he can return to you. You don't have the opportunity to get married for a long time. So work on yourself. The time will come and he may return.
You remember that the reason for the destruction of relations was in you. You yourself at a certain moment chose a tough style of behavior, but he could not stand it. But you don't let him go back. You didn't forgive him, you didn't understand. Now you only think about what is wrong with you. You yourself keep the situation in such a suspended state.
You never know what we want. The word «want» doesn't change anything. You have to behave accordingly. Even now you manage to be offended in a relationship with him. So, why are you doing this? You continue to destroy relationships. Your relationship has not yet been completely destroyed, but you continue to destroy it.
You must learn to overcome fate with the help of internal actions, with the help of what we have in our hearts. Now you are simply offended by fate, but you behaved wrongly with him, so you are punished. Now we need to fix it, but you don't want to fix it. You want fate to fix it yourself. But it doesn't happen.
Situation 4. She left her husband, because he was tired of his attitude. He didn't give me money. Now he wants me to come back. What to do?
You need to take your husband back because God does not want you to part. Because you are supposed to live with him, but if you continue to be capricious, then in general you will be left alone for a long time. Therefore, God leaves you this man.
If a man does not give money, it means that you do not care about him enough. You are greedy in feelings, he is greedy in money. You pay less attention and warmth to him, more to yourself. When a woman does not care about her husband, the husband will also not take care of her. Women's care is expressed in warmth and desire to do something, male care - in providing and protecting. You didn't find the key to his heart. Nevertheless, he is waiting for you and wants you to come back.
Understand that demanding money is not a way to live. Change your attitude towards him and he will change his. But when a person chooses a life better than he is supposed to, then everything goes downhill for him.
Situation 5. She suffered in a relationship, left her husband. He wants to bring me back, and the astrologer said that we have incompatibility.
Astrologers have a separate conversation. They do not decide who to be together and to who not. This is what God decides. They will tell you what you want to hear. If you want to leave, they will find you a way to tell you how to do it. You need a very sublime person, a qualified specialist, so that he can tell you the truth.
Unfortunately, astrologers do not always help save the family. Because they are usually immature people, and this is a complex science. You need to be sage to give such advice. Often people will learn to look at the map, and then they conclude that you have incompatibility. Why are you incompatibility? You're just immature both. You are very touchy, but he is rude. This does not mean incompatibility. You just need to develop as individuals, that's all, and there will be compatibility.
If there was incompatibility, then it would not be waiting for you. If people have hearts connected to each other, then one waits, the second is capricious. This is a continuation of the relationship. Understand, time just doesn't solve anything. Solves self-improvement. We must work on ourselves and change ourselves. You just don't understand what family life is. In it, one should serve a person, and not demand from him. If we demand all the time, then where will happiness come from?
Change and come back. This will be a sign of your change. But you are so stubborn that I already told you this three times, and you still resist. But I see what will happen next. Such a cold will come in your life that you will not be able to find a man for yourself, and he will be able to wait for you only 5 months, after which he will have another, more obedient woman who will not be so capricious. So think.
In one of the lectures, Oleg Gennadievich said that all the difficulties in family life are not empty and stupid. The truth is that we need them. Only by going through pain and passing the exams of fate can we become happy. If we understand that a loved one is given to us not for pleasure, but to work out our bad deeds in the past, then everything falls into place. We don't have any questions why he behaves like this. We know that we ourselves are the cause of his actions. When we understand this truth in deep understanding, we understand that nothing happens to this world just like that. Everything is divine.
Remember that every action you take has a consequence. By deciding to live in marriage, you accept both happiness and suffering from a loved one into your life. The desire to exploit it sooner or later ends in the destruction of relations. However, if we choose the path of service and education of a loved one, should we expect happiness? no. It will inevitably come into our lives.
